Adventures in Physical Therapy

           I have been down this road before. 3 times, to be exact, for my hip. So when my doctor suggested some PT to help my knee regain its strength and flexibility faster, I was fine with it. Until I heard all of the horror stories people told me about their experiences at PT. Which was super comforting.

So off I go to the rehab building, only slightly loath to begin. They tell me that today is “Evaluation Day” to test my abilities. No biggie. So they take me back and put me on a giant elevated pad. I can hear a baby screaming in the other room, which greatly confuses me. They then proceed to poke, prod, bend, snap, push, pull, yank, press, fling, etc. my various limbs until they have finished recording all the various data.

What I wish physical therapy consisted of. 

What it actually is. 

My two physical therapists then began to marvel at how tiny (code for “scrawny”) my knees are and how they can see the tendon bulging out from my kneecap. They also note how skinny I am and my lack of muscle mass. Thank you, kind physical therapists. I had no clue how weak I was.

They then begin to mess around with my back and shoulders. Which makes total sense since I’m here for my knee. The lady then starts talking to Jeremy (the PT student) about my shoulder blades and says something along the lines of, “jfadji bladh blah blah PROTRACTOR BLADES alkjda blah blah blah”. Protractor? As in the semi-helpful pink half-circular ruler I used my freshman year for geometry and then promptly threw away after the final? How can my shoulders be like a protractor? Is there something wrong with me? Do I need to do therapy for that too? Is my whole skeletal system messed up? Has my whole life been a lie?

I learned that prior to going to physical therapy, it’s vital to shave one’s legs rather thoroughly. I felt bad for Jeremy who had to touch my legs a lot while testing my strength and flexibility. Sorry, Jeremy. But then when I went for Round 2 of physical therapy yesterday, Sorry Jeremy was the only person who remembered my name and said hi to me. Perhaps I didn’t scar him so deeply.

Later on while doing an exercise called “the inch worm”, my official physical therapist told me I could add a push up at the end to make it more interesting. I told her I would not.  

The following conversation occurred between Official Physical Therapist and myself yesterday:

OPT: “Does the gym you go to have a glute machine?”

Me: “Ummm I’m not sure.”

OPT: “What about a leg press?”

Me: “I mean, I would assume so.”

OPT: “Hip flexor machine?”

Me: “Probably…”

OPT: “Have you ever actually gone to your gym?”

Me: “Yes, but I don’t exactly venture into the weight room area very often. Or ever.”

OPT: “That doesn’t surprise me. I mean, no offense, but you don’t exactly look like the weight training type.”

Me: “I have a set of 10 lb. weights I sometimes use?”

Apparently that does not count. 

Are you enjoying warm weather where you are, or are you enduring another snow storm like myself? 

Excited That: My midterm went well.

Looking Forward To: Husband making dinner tonight :)

Pumped That: Spring Break is soooooo close!

Hate: Snow. 

Searching For: White jeans and shorts, summer sandals, lace up sneakers, cute backpack, and spring clothes in general. 

Coming Up Next Week: Another giveaway! 

Need To: Start adding my IG name to my photos. They've been getting reposted without my permission and I don't like that. 

Days Until Christmas: 287